


The Perfect Tree

by MK_Yujji



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Kidfic, M/M, Parental Panic, christmas trees
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-17 23:57:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13088142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MK_Yujji/pseuds/MK_Yujji
Summary: Who knew that finding the perfect Christmas tree could be such an adventure?





	The Perfect Tree

**Author's Note:**

  * For [frosted_astronaut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/frosted_astronaut/gifts).



> written for frosted_astronaut in the 2017 Cap/Iron Man Fic Exchange. 
> 
> ~*~*~
> 
> Potential triggers - Tony has a brush with a panic attack.

“Oh my god, Tony! Is it- But you said- This is so _awesome_!”

Tony’s lips twitched as he watched Peter try to meld himself with the glass as if that would somehow give him a better view of the tree farm they were approaching.

It was true that venturing out to find a tree on their own definitely wasn’t something that he’d wanted to do. When Peter had asked, he’d said no and he’d meant it. He paid other people ridiculous sums of money to make sure that all of his properties were shining examples of holiday spirit.

Peter had only asked the once and he’d taken the ‘no’ with better grace than Tony would have managed at 5, but he’d also looked so quietly dejected afterwards whenever the topic of Christmas came up. Tony couldn’t give the kid his real parents back. He couldn’t give him his Aunt May or any of the other traditions that the Parker family had once had. He could give Peter _this_ , though, this one thing that Peter had actually asked for since he’d come to live with Tony.

“Well, I had to check a donation slash investment, so I thought… why not kill two birds with one stone?”

Peter twisted around to give him a horrified look. “Why are you killing _birds_?!”

“No, I- it’s- That's not-” Tony huffed in amusement. He was still getting used to how literally tiny little people took the things he said. “It’s just a saying. It means doing two things at once.”

Though he looked somewhat reassured that Tony didn't intend to go out and kill any birds, Peter still seemed dubious about the morality of American linguistics. “That’s not a very nice saying.”

“It really isn’t, is it?” 

The conversation continued to delve into the deeper meanings of questionable sayings until the car finally came to a stop and Happy twisted around to look at them. “Boss, did you forget to call ahead?”

“Well… I figured it was late enough that it wouldn’t be too crowded.” Honestly, he hadn’t been a hundred percent certain that he wouldn’t change his mind until they’d actually arrived. But it was less than a week until Christmas and it was pretty close to closing time. If he’d really thought about it, he still would have assumed that it would be fine.

Clearly, he should have anticipated just how prevalent procrastination really was in the United States. The parking lot was well organized and there was a serious looking red-headed woman directing cars in and out of spots with a militaristic sort of precision, but it was still absolutely full of cars. He was surprised that Happy had managed to be directed to one so close to the front.

Then he noticed the dark skinned man standing there in a relaxed version of parade rest, obviously waiting on Tony to exit the vehicle.

Apparently having STARK in all of his license plates was enough to warrant VIP treatment even without a phone call.

“It’s a big place run by vets,” he murmured to Happy before handing Peter his bright red jacket and mittens. “Surely they have a less crowded area for us to choose a tree in peace and plenty of security to keep us safe.”

Still, he’d done well in keeping Peter out of the media since he’d taken over guardianship. He should have considered that before they ventured out of the protective net that JARVIS was able to provide in the city proper.

“Can we get out now?” Peter asked, squirming with excitement as he waved to the man waiting for them.

The man waved back with a friendly smile and murmured something that Tony couldn’t hear to someone Tony couldn’t see. Another man, this one pale and far more intimidating and grumpy looking than the first, seemed to materialize out of the crowds and began shooing people away from their gawking. Either out of fear of the grumpiness or respect for the empty sleeve - or, considering how schmucky people could be, fear _of_ the empty sleeve - everyone scurried out of the way, forming a nice empty perimeter around Tony’s car.

It made it easier for Tony to commit to getting out of the car. He didn’t mind candid cellphone pictures of himself popping up all over Instagram and Twitter, but he’d prefer it if Peter didn’t have to deal with that infamy just quite yet. 

“JARVIS?” He murmured. “If they get any pictures of Peter-“

“They will find that they will be most inconveniently out of focus or corrupted, I’m afraid,” the AI responded in his earpiece immediately. 

“Great.” Tony took a deep breath and stepped up to meet the other man. “Hi, sorry about the surprise visit.”

“Not a problem, Mr. Stark,” the man replied, sticking out a hand in greeting. “Sam Wilson. I suppose I’m the closest we have to a PR person here, so if you have an idea of what you’re looking for, I can direct you to the best spot. Bucky and the others will keep the people from encroaching too far into your space while you look around. When you find a find a tree that you like, you put your tag on it and we’ll send a guy out to cut it down and bring it back for you while you enjoy some of Maria’s complimentary hot cocoa. Unless you want one of the little guys over there-“ he pointed towards a small grove of Tony-sized trees nearby “in which case, you’re welcome to cut them yourself or call Bucky over to get it immediately.”

“Hi! I’m Peter, we’re going to get a Christmas tree. Do you have some that are like thiiiis big?” Peter had clambered out beside Tony to engage Wilson with the kind of childish enthusiasm only a five-year old could really produce. He stretched his arms as wide as he could and stretched up on his tip-toes, almost tipping over before Tony could give his back a steadying hand.

In reality, Peter's arm and body span could only indicate a particularly tiny tree no matter how far he stretched.

Luckily, Wilson seemed more than able to interpret the intent behind it. “You know, I think we do have some pretty big trees over in D quadrant. It’s one of the less picked over areas, too, so you should have plenty of choices, little man.”

Peter beamed up at him. “Awesome.”

“You want me to stay with the car, boss?”

Glancing back at Happy, Tony nodded. “Yeah, and let Pep know that we’re probably going to need space for a pretty big tree in either the common room or the rec room. Tv room? She can decide when she sees the tree, I guess."

“She’s going to kill you.”

“She would never. She might be CEO now, but she knows the company needs the head of R&D to stay afloat.”

Which wouldn’t stop her from making him pay for the surprise in some other way. Now that they weren’t dating anymore, she had a lot less patience for some of his shenanigans. On the other hand, he could just toss Peter at her. For someone who insisted she didn’t like kids, Pepper regularly melted at the sight of his big brown eyes.

“Sure, boss.” 

“Whoa, little man, I think you need to wait for Tony.”

Tony looked back to see that Wilson had caught Peter by the back of the shirt as the kid had attempted to dart into the tree farm.

“But he’s sooo slow!”

“Hey!”

Peter just grinned at him, completely unapologetic. “Come on, Tony! We need to find the _perfect_ tree! Before someone else takes it!”

Snorting, Wilson let go and grinned. “Do you want a map or a personal escort?”

“I think a map will be fine. I’m sure you’re all very busy.”

“It is a very busy time of year,” Wilson admitted. “But honestly, we have plenty of staff who prefer to avoid the crowds just as much as I’m sure you do. It wouldn’t be any hardship to pair you up with one of them. If you change your mind, just give a holler.”

“Would that quieter than a yell or louder than a scream?”

Wilson just shook his head with a smile and handed over a map and a colorful strip of ribbon. “There are yellow call boxes littered throughout the farm, they’re clearly marked on the map. If you get lost, though, like I said. Holler. Someone will find you. You’d be surprised how many city born civilians don’t know how to read maps and need an escort back out from some of the deeper areas of the farm.”

“Thanks. I think we’ll be fine.”

It was more snappish than Pepper would probably like to hear of him using in public, but Wilson just held up his hands and backed off. “Happy tree-hunting.”

Peter pulled the map out of his hand and unfolded it, quickly finding the D quadrant on the map. “Look, Tony, here. This is where the big trees are.”

Hopefully, that didn’t mean Rockefeller sized. Pepper might actually be justified in killing him then.

“All right, let’s go, kiddo.”

Peter grabbed his hand and began tugging him off into the tree line. It didn’t take long before they left the soft murmur of other people behind.

The rows of trees were remarkably uniform. He supposed that was how tree farming worked, but honestly, it was a little creepy. He wondered if they ever got requests to film horror movies in a place like this.

“Tony!” Peter pulled him from tree to tree, considering and rejecting each one as they passed it. He had an entire running commentary on criteria that seemed to boil down to how he’d just ‘feel it’ once he found the right tree.

The deeper they got, the taller and fuller the trees got. There were a mix of fir, spruce and pines, the fragrant scent of Christmas trees almost overpowering.

“You know, I think I’m developing an allergy as we speak. If I start breaking out in hives, you’re going to have to explain it to Pepper, I hope you realize. She might ground you.”

Unlikely, but still possible.

Peter just giggled at him and continued to dart between the trees, rejecting each one for all sorts of arbitrary reasons. Not tall enough, not fluffy enough, too fluffy, not smelly enough, too smelly, shaped like a poop emoji… the list seemed endless.

At least the kid seemed excited no matter how long they wandered through the trees.

Tony didn't have his perseverance. He pulled out his phone and started searching for what made the perfect Christmas tree. He snorted as the first three lists he found made measuring the space for the tree the first priority in picking the perfect tree.

“Hey, J, what’s the biggest space we have at the tower for a Christmas tree?”

“Assuming that you are not intending to put young master Peter’s tree in the public areas, the main common room’s loft design would easily hold a tree of 18 to 23 feet tall, depending on the size of the decoration chosen for the top.”

Blinking, Tony considered that. “That’s a five foot difference. How tall is your average tree topper?”

“The average tree purchased in the United States tends to be between 6 and 7 feet tall, thus limiting the _average_ tree topper to approximately 7 inches. However, a larger tree can hold a much larger tree topper. Indeed, an 18 foot tree would require a tree topper to be over a foot tall just to be proportional and properly seen by people observing it from the ground.”

“Shoot. I forgot all about ornaments. Peter, any idea what kind of ornaments you want?”

Silence.

“Peter?" Turning in a circle, Tony searched for the bright splash of red that should be Peter. "This isn’t funny, you need to come out right now.”

There was nothing but trees and winds. 

Tony was completely alone between the trees. He covered his mouth with a shaking hand. 

Tony Stark had never intended to be a dad. He was self-aware enough to know that he’d gotten a double heaped helping of all of his parents flaws and he’d never wanted to put a kid through the same kind of bullshit childhood that he’d had. He’d vowed the day years ago that the cycle would stop with him and it was the one vow he’d meticulously kept.

There were so many ways he could screw up a kid. So many bad examples and unpleasant circumstances. So much bad legacy to pass on.

Of everything he'd ever considered, never once had he thought that he’d _lose_ the child that had been entrusted to him by a dying friend.

“Peter!” He took a shaky breath and looked around again searching for one of the yellow call boxes that Wilson had said he’d find easily. The tree farm was staffed entirely with former military men and women. That was the entire reason that the Maria Stark Foundation sponsored them, why Tony had chosen it for their tree search. 

Tony took a step left and stopped, glancing back the other direction. He hadn’t been paying much attention as they’d wandered out into the trees, confident in his ability to read a map.

But _Peter_ had the map.

“Peter?!” How on earth had he managed to lose a boy as energetic and brightly clothed as Peter Parker? As willing to chat to a tree as to a person? 

They were going to revoke his right to even be _near_ children, never mind actually let him continue raising Peter.

“J, please tell me you can find him?”

“I apologize, Sir.” And for an AI, JARVIS did sound remarkably regretful. If Tony weren’t fighting an actual panic attack, he might pat his own back over just how successful his AI had become despite the naysayers like his father. As it was, he had to remind himself to breathe, that only a truly crazy person would kidnap a child on _this_ tree farm. “There are limited cameras on the farm and Master Peter is not carrying any manner of electronic for me to monitor. His cellphone is pinging back from the car. I have alerted Mr. Wilson and the staff of the situation. They are organizing their efforts to find you both. Shall I patch you through to them?”

What kind of guardian started paying more attention to their phone than their kid? He _deserved_ to have his kid license revoked. Why hadn't he considered the perfectly option of a leash? They made those for kids, right? “Yeah. Do it.”

“Mr. Stark? Your friend says you're lost. That's okay, the most important thing is that you don't panic.” Wilson’s voice was questioning, but pitched more at calm reassurance than the recriminations that Tony deserved. 

“Has anyone found Peter yet?”

_Please say yes, please say yes, please-_

“Not yet, but our guy up in the Hawk’s nest says he saw a flash of red heading towards one of our other guys just a few minutes ago. We’re pretty sure that was him. If he runs into-“

Wilson’s voice cut off for a second, but before Tony could panic further, JARVIS filled the empty space. “He is receiving transmission from the quadrant Master Peter was reported heading towards.”

“Mr. Stark, our man in Quadrant D has Peter. He’s safe as houses, I promise. Steve is literally the safest person he could be with.”

Though some of the clench of panic began to recede, Tony knew he wouldn’t truly stop worrying until he could see Peter for himself. 

“If you’ll look up, Clint’s going to flash his spot light in your direction. Do you see it?” 

Tony looked up. It was hard to see through the trees, but he did eventually spot the light. “I see it.”

“All right, using that as your focus point, Peter and Steve are about two hundred and thirty yards to your left.”

“How the hell-“

“Apparently your kid moves fast, Mr. Stark.” Wilson’s voice was still calm, but there was amusement there, too. A distinct lack of judgement. It made Tony wonder just how many people lost their kids in this tree maze every day that he could sound like that. Or maybe it was just something he’d learned in the military. “They’re going to be waiting for you right where they are. No more wandering.”

“Thanks.”

“Not a problem. That’s what we’re here for. Trust me, finding a kid dressed in bright colors is not nearly as hard as finding a soldier dressed in camouflage in the mountains. Or the desert, for that matter.”

“Search and Rescue?”

Tony didn’t necessarily care, but it helped distract him as he pushed through the trees.

“Yup. Two tours in Afghanistan, another running mountain rescues upstate.”

When he finally heard Peter’s voice chattering enthusiastically about what made the perfect Christmas tree, Tony almost collapsed in relief. Wilson was right. Peter wasn’t lost. He wasn’t hurt or kidnapped or any of the dozens of other horrible things that could have happened.

Tony burst through the trees to find Peter having a conversation with a man who was crouched down and listening with every appearance that he took Peter as seriously as he would have any adult.

The man noticed Tony before Peter did. He stood up and turned Peter around to see Tony. “Think someone's looking for you, Peter.”

Tony didn’t acknowledge the stranger. Instead he swung Peter up in his arms and held him close. “Don’t you ever wander off like that again, kiddo. I was so fucking worried.”

“Swear jar!” Peter called out, hugging Tony back just as tightly. “I’m sorry, Tony. I just wanted to find the _perfect_ tree. I didn’t mean to go so far.”

On the one hand, Tony wanted to explain all the horrible things that could have happened so that Peter could understand just how bad it was to wander off like that. There were so many news stories about kids that were kidnapped or worse, that he’d actually had to start having JARVIS filter his news-feeds just so that he could avoid them. He wasn’t sure if there really was a sudden surge or if there’d always been so many horrible things in the world and he just hadn’t noticed them until it had become relevant to his life, but it was terrifying either way.

On the other hand, he didn’t want Peter to be terrified to venture out into the world. Didn't want him to stare at the people surrounding him and wonder which one was the sociopath with a little kid fetish. He was pretty sure that was a one way ticket to Anthrophobia and therapy.

In the end, he didn’t offer any specific dangers. He just hugged Peter tighter. “You’re gonna give me a heart attack some day, kiddo.”

“I was okay. I found Steve. He's from Brooklyn, but he knows so much about trees, Tony! Can he help us find ours? Pleeeeease? Can he?”

Glancing up, he finally took a full notice of the person who had found Peter. The guy had settled into an actual parade rest stance a bit away as he looked out into the trees, giving them at least the illusion of privacy. 

Safe as houses, indeed.

Steve was more than half a foot taller than Tony and built as solidly as he could be without looking like one of those bulge-neck weirdos whose muscles had muscles that had muscles. He looked like he could bench press Tony, easily, and he held himself like the soldier in him had never really gotten used to being set loose in the civilian world.

Every other blonde haired, blue eyed inch of him screamed apple-pie, ice-cream wouldn’t melt in your mouth boy-next-door.

It wasn’t a look that Tony normally appreciated, but this Steve wore it pretty well.

And he’d found Peter.

That won him a lot of points in Tony’s book.

“I think you have to ask Steve if it’s okay with him, Peter.” Tony finally replied, sticking his hand out. “Hi. Tony Stark.”

“Steve Rogers.” Steve shook his hand carefully, but solidly, like someone who wasn't used to it and had to be careful not to overestimate his own strength. Not a lot of hand-shaking going on in the military, apparently.

“Steve! Steve! Please? Do you know where to find one of those trees like you said!?” Peter reached out to snag Steve’s sleeve, jerking it back and forth to get the man’s attention. “The one that’s perfect? That’s the one I want, Tony! The one like Steve said!”

“Well, I wasn’t here for that conversation, now was I, kiddo?” Tony asked, wryly. "Someone ran off and had it without me." 

“Sorry, Tony!”

Steve watched their byplay with a little half-smile. “It might be easiest if I show you, Mr. Stark.”

“Tony, please. You managed to wrangle this half-pint for me. I think that entitles you to privileges.”

“Pretty sure that’s not how it works, but sure. Tony.” Steve dipped his head in acknowledgement. Then his eyes went a little unfocused and he tapped on the ear piece Tony hadn’t noticed earlier. “Yeah, Sam. It’s all good, you can call off the search. I’ll get ‘em back in.”

“Remind me to triple our donation to this place. Your people are worth every single penny.”

“That’s not necessary, Tony. The donation from your foundation is already more than generous.”

Which was probably true. Tony wasn’t sure what their exact donation was, but he always tried to make sure that the recipients that truly helped the people that were most effected by the years of blood money that his father had made got the best the foundation could offer. And no one had suffered more than the veterans who’d come home from wars that Howard Stark and Obadiah Stane had almost single-handedly equipped on both sides.

He and Pepper had been horrified by how deep the corruption had run when they’d finally managed to wrest the company away from the old guard. Tony had done everything he could to try to clean the blood off SI once he’d inherited, but sometimes he thought he could gut the company and never be clean of it.

Donating to vet-run companies like the tree farm were the least he could do.

“Eh, didn’t anyone ever tell you that’s how rich guys deal with things?”

Steve just arched a skeptical brow and shrugged before turning to Peter. “Did you decide if you wanted tall or taller?”

Peter waffled for a second. “I’m not sure how tall we can actually have…”

“J says the roof will accommodate anything up to 23 feet, depending on choice of topper,” Tony offered. 

“I wouldn’t recommend anything over 20 feet in a personal residence. Shorter still if you’ve got to get it into a New York City sky scraper. Even most freight elevators will be iffy for something that big. And it’s just harder to take care of a tree that size, although I suppose you’ve put it off long enough that that isn’t as much of a concern.”

Between Steve and Peter with a little input offered by JARVIS via Tony, they finally settled on a 12 foot Noble fir tree that bushed out a bit further than some of the taller trees.

“I hope you realize that this tree will need quite a few ornaments to keep it from looking empty,” Steve said quietly as Peter practically danced around the limbs, more giddy than Tony had ever seen him. They were waiting on someone to bring out the equipment so that they could cut it down because Peter refused to leave the tree, just in case someone else tried to take it.

Tony huffed in amusement. “Yeah, but it’s worth it.”

He glanced up to see Steve watching him with a smile. “What?”

Steve shook his head. “Nothing. Just… we see a lot of parents come through here with their kids. You’d be surprised how many of them don’t let the kids make any of the decisions. It’s just… y’know… nice, I guess, to see someone who cares more about making their kid happy than whether the details inconvenience them.”

Tony might have argued the point, but he couldn’t. His father had been the kind of person who wouldn’t have even bothered with a tree. His mother had been the one to see to professional decorations.

Not once in his entire childhood had either of them asked what he wanted. He was pretty sure it hadn’t even occurred to them to wonder. 

“Yeah, I guess.”

“You’re a good parent, Tony.”

“I literally misplaced him not even an hour ago.”

“I’m told that’s surprisingly easy to do. Doesn’t change anything.” Steve nudged him slightly. “Take a compliment.”

“Get a drink with me. Coffee, maybe.”

They both stared at each other in surprise. Tony hadn’t actually meant to say that out loud. A tree farm was probably a weird place to find a date no matter how nice the smile or impressive the biceps.

Before he could back-pedal and withdraw the offer, Steve smiled. “Sure.”

“Coffee is gross,” Peter said, from where he was hanging upside down in the fir's branches. His face was turning red, but he looked perfectly content. “We should get cocoa instead.”

Tony laughed and grinned at Steve as he pulled Peter out of the tree. “You heard the monkey. Cocoa with both of us?”

“You know… I think I’d like that.”

~*~*~  
_fin_

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU fic using the MCU characters. Things of note that were difficult to convey in such a short piece - 
> 
> This is a non-powered AU. Thus, while Tony is still a billionaire genius, he does not have the Iron Man suits. He does have JARVIS. 
> 
> It also means that Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov, Maria Hill, and other assorted military and SHIELD agents from MCU do not have their various 'super powers', but instead were exceptionally good military men and women who have since left their service.
> 
> Howard Stark and Obidiah Stane were still business partners in SI, but they were both corrupt and played both sides against the middle, so to speak, Howard selling arms to the US and Obidiah selling to everyone else. Until the corruption was uncovered and they were ousted. 
> 
> The Peter here is Peter Parker, a child whose family died and Tony was asked to be his guardian or godfather.


End file.
